I'm not O.J., saying goodbye, feeling funky

Well, I have not posted since April 28th, a little over two weeks ago when I got the news of my brother-in law. There are several reasons for that, which I will get to. One of which is that my brother and I flew down to Arkansas for the funeral and to be there for our sister. We were there a total of 5 days, leaving on the 6th day. My brother has very long legs, being he is 6'5'. I am a mere 5'5" and had a very hard time keeping up with him as we were going to the gates at the airport(s). We flew on his wife's brother in law's buddy pass, so we were anxious to get to the appropriate gate for the flights, plead our case by telling the sad tale of our need to get to Arkansas, so he was walking at good clip with his rolling carry on bag. I had my track bag as carry on which has no wheels.
Also, when you fly on a buddy pass, you must dress appropriately. You can't look like a vacationer. So, I am in heels, carrying the track bag and my purse with all I will need for the trip and running to keep up with my brother! Leave the running through airports to O.J. I can't do it!.........

There must have been someone above, or several someones, that knew we needed to get there as early as possible because we got on the 7 a.m. flight out of Pittsburgh, and got that connecting flight in Charlotte to Little Rock. We landed in Little Rock about 10:15 a.m. (central time) and was leaving the airport in the rental car at 10.30 a.m. We did not get bumped from any of the flights to or from Little Rock. I was talking to the heavens under my breath the whole time we were at the airports, plus had my fingers crossed, and someone must have heard me or something!!?... So we got to my sister's at about noon, her time. So we were there in plenty of time to go to the funeral home for the first afternoon viewing with her, my nephews, their wives, and the grandkiddos. I am so glad we went. It was very hard to see my sister hurting so badly and there was nothing I could do to fix it. She seems to be holding up quite well, considering. The next day was the funeral, It was so hard to say goodbye to him. We all cried something awful, as expected. the service was really nice by Brother Perry, the Pastor of my nephew's church. He is a really nice man, with a wonderful contemperary way of teaching God's word. The family had chosen a lifestyle service as opposed to an orthodox service, which would have suited Jerry to a "T". Brother Perry took what he learned from all of us telling him stories about Jerry and put it into a wonderful service that actually made us laugh quite a bit. Jerry certainly would have wanted it that way. He was a man that did enjoy life and all it's adventures and always made the people around him smile. It will be hard to think that he won't be sending those goofy emails, and jokes, or doing that happy dance he always did, alot of times for no other reason than he was happy and wanted you to smile too...............

We came home on Tuesday and I went back to work on Wednesday. But, I admittedly have not been myself since my return. I feel it. My husband definitely noticed it, my co-workers commented on it. I just feel like I am in this funk and can't shake it. Another reason for my not posting, I just haven't felt like nor had the ambition. Life goes on, but I just need it to stop for a few more days. However, I did start to feel like my ol' self a bit today. Since I wore heels for 3 days out of five and was on running through the airports and being at the funeral home and funeral, standing so much, and never sat with my feet up while we were at my sister's, my feet were quite swollen. They are just back to normal today. When you take an ol' girl out of her routine, the are adverse effects. So, the funky feeling is about 95% gone and I don't know that I will ever get the other 5 back with such a hole in my world. When a man steals your sister away when you are 7 years old, and you spent every weekend and every summer at their house growing up, you definitely feel the funk when he's not there anymore.........

And the last reason for it taking so long to post is that I just didn't want the last post of April 28 to be taken away from the top of the blog. Even now, it's hard knowing that it will be moved down. But the picture of Jerry with his Cee Cee will always be to the right..........